It's a What I CAN DO Day

Last week I was blessed with my first trip back to the box after surgery… As I walked/crutched into the box I was immediately flooded with joy!  There's something about the smell of sweat, chalk and rubber that, for me, is soothing and comforting.  I feel at home in a gym.  Not just at Oakland County CrossFit where I have a special connection, but really… any athletic facility… Like pulling on your favorite old jeans, it just feels right!

BUT THEN… As my buddies started their warm ups and moved on to the WOD I began to see all the things I could NOT do. :(

I tried to quiet my mind and focus on some ring rows.  I had no plan… no goal… so I very quickly quit.  EEEEWWWW, I hate that word… QUIT.  GIVE UP.  LOSE.  But I did in that moment.

I reverted to one of my other strengths which was sideline coaching and cheering… That was O.K. for the WOD, but once that was over I was left with my personal disappointment.

Here's the deal, I have to rely on people A LOT right now.  Andrea/Boss came and picked me up, Anette drove me home, people are going out of their way to keep me up and I let them (And Me) down.  Not that they were counting on me to get my workout done in order to make their day any better… but you know, when someone goes out of their way to do something nice for you… I don't know, I just don't want their generosity to be for some bullshit pity party of mine… :P

So, I was mentally beating myself up on the drive home and vowed to my mind-gremlins that they were done for, finished, kaput!!! I now have a standing weekly date to get a ride to the box as well as a personal mission to write and execute a specific workout.

I sat down and threw up a list of movements that I felt comfortable with and then wrote out work out #1 for this week.  The first draft looked like this:


I finished everything on the workout. I do have some tweaking to do, but it felt good to have a plan and to complete it.  I also have movements to add, as well as some creativity, but again, it felt good to have a plan and to walk in the gym and keep my eye on the list of things I COULD do instead of the wall balls and burpees that I could not do with my friends… ("with friends" being the ultimate desire, cuz lets face it I EFFING HATE WALL BALLS).  ;)

Here's something interesting… I could not do a lot of the stretching because the pain at the surgery sight was way too intense… Stretching will be limited to upper body for a while longer.

Besides a physical outlet I have been reading up on some of the best healing foods.  Now, since it is such a chore for me to prepare food, my first choice of healing foods are the AMAZING, GENEROUS, KIND, TASTY dishes that my friends have been bringing me!!!

Chicken Shack from Lisa B.
Homemade Spaghetti AND Sloppy Joe's from Rob C.
Mushroom Chicken AND Taco Night  from Joyce F.
Creamy Chicken Bake from Katie F.
Lasagna from the Haddads
Pizza Lunch with Bailey and Freaky H.
Chicken Spaghetti from Dana S.
White Bean Chicken Chilli from Kelly C.
Broadway Grill lunch with Carol G.
Salmon Spinach salad lunch with Joe C.

This is my first line of Thank You's… I may even write out old school cards… but I have to admit I'm a bit of a procrastinator in that regard, HOWEVER, I PROMISE I AM NO LESS GRATEFUL!!! 

I AM SO THANKFUL AND FEEL SO LOVED!!!

(Except this one day when my soon-to-be ex-husband ate the food that was prepared for me and left me with nothing to eat… I thought that was a pretty dick move even for someone who's divorcing me…{of course this is a dick move on my part, being a tattle tale… Please forgive me, I'm still working on my issues}  LOOK, I don't mind sharing and he had the food for dinner the night before, but he took the rest for lunch and left me with nothing to eat… I just don't get it).  But I can't let the actions of one person overshadow the love and grace of so much good in my life!!! THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN!!!

Back to nourishing foods after surgery…
Connective Tissue Healing:                                                                                                                 
      "Healing after surgery may often require special support for connective tissue, which will have to be regenerated for complete healing.There's research evidence to support a focus on four vitamins when connective tissue healing is required, and those four vitamins are: vitamin C, vitamin E, vitamin A, and the B-complex vitamins. You'll be covering the bases well in this situation if you emphasize green leafy vegetables in your diet.    
     In post-surgery healing, collagen proteins can become an especially important part of connective tissue repair."

I will be filling my basket with some of these foods this week:

• Kale, Spinach, Asparagus (help in the production of collagen; also helps body use this protein more effectively)
• Garlic (sulfur for collagen/contains lipoid acid & taurine, for rebuilding damaged collagen fibers)
• Tuna & Salmon (protein + omega 3's)
• Red Peppers (contain plenty of antioxidants…promotes collagen)
• AND CHOCOLATE (because it makes me happy and happiness heals)!  

****(6 Foods that Enhance Collagen Production)

I could keep rambling on but it took me 5 minutes to read to this line… If you're like me you stopped being interested 2 minutes ago… HAHA :)

So here's a few adventure pics from this week and I'll see you next time!!! If you're getting a kick out of this, please share or comment!  Love ya friends!!! 

STAY STRONG. 
STAY HEALTHY. 
HELP EACH OTHER.

Sometimes I have a hard time sitting still… So Bubby spots my L-Sits on crutches :)

Internal and external rotation work with the bands… It's a What I Can Do movement!!!

Jacob's Senior Homecoming with his sweet friend and Jimmy John's colleague

Adventures in Healing Begin… Again

Ok, so I wanted to be super serious, dedicated and consistent on writing this blog this time around… But there's something funny about having all the time in the world on your hands… It seems the more time I have the less I get accomplished… You feel me??? 

I know I've read studies and articles on human nature and how we work within the time frame which we place on ourselves… With a quick Google search, Wikipedia reminds me it's called Parkinison's Law - "Work expands so as to fill the time available for its completion."

At the moment I feel like I have an eternity to read, write and watch netflix. I am ashamed to say that Netflix is winning… SMH :(  Please don't judge… At least you can't see me sitting here in 3 day old pajamas surrounded by candy wrappers and fruit flies… Not gonna lie, it's not always pretty.

I've been struggling to figure out what to write about… I'm mean I've done it before…ruptured my Achilles that is. You ALL have done something like it before… You get broken, it hurts, people are nice to you, you heal, you strengthen and you go back on your way… Ain't no thing… we all gotta do it sometime…


Ok, so maybe Achille's surgery is a little bigger than say a sprained ankle or even a broken arm, but it's no cancer, it's not life threatening… UNLESS of course you live here and you have no compassion for people outside of yourself (I may have visions of poking someone in the eye with my CRUTCH)… 



yes that is a dig at my soon to be ex husband.  I love him dearly and I wish him well on his personal journey, but I am not impressed with him as a compassionate human being at the moment. It could be the pain talking… but it's not.





I'm pretty sure I went through this the last time around… Trying to justify and balance just the right amount of self-pity with the drive and fortitude needed to not only heal, but to come back a stronger, smarter, better person than before.  

I'm a work in progress.  A Sicilian Hippie my mother dubbed me once… Peace, Love and FU!! I'd like to believe there's some sort of yin-yang going on there…. You tell me… or better yet… don't.

I am two weeks post op.  Today I got the cast removed and was put into an adjustable boot. 

LUCKY ME… 

I ALREADY HAD ONE!!! 

YAY!!!

I'm on a 4 day regimen of adjusting the angle on the boot.  Every 4th day for the next month I will be adjusting the boot by 10 degrees until my ankle reaches a 90 degree angle with my tib/fib. 

This is different from last time where I had weekly visits with my doc and he checked on me and did the adjustments… I have much more power this way!!! Also, I don't have to try to secure as many chauffeurs… Doc says, "No Driving."

I have every intention to post soon with some adventures of the boot/cast.  That was a fun and helpful part of the journey three years ago… we'll see if it has the same joy this time around :)

Here are some of the first couple of adventures:

Ice cream and baby cows :)

Starbucks, Target and Ellie

An ER adventure in the middle of the night

Yummy meals made with garlic, basil and love

Chivalrous Jacob :)

And of course keeping the foot elevated!!!   

Peace out friends!!!

Love, Julie 

Oops I Did it Again….

HOLY CRAP!!!!! 

I can't believe I'm here… 

At this blog… 

AGAIN!!!

My last post was in May of 2011… 
Look, it's right down there …  

I honestly never thought I'd be here again.  

Then again, maybe I pondered it from time to time. 

Maybe there would be a little sting in my ankles while doing double-unders… 

Maybe there would be some fire in the Achilles' at the beginning of a run or the morning after a run.  

I thought I was listening to my body when I would promptly take a week (or two) off of getting in any workouts.  

I'd like to tell you it was because I am so in tune with my body, but in reality it had everything to do with life and prioritizing (or not prioritizing) and using the self diagnosed "ankle owies" as a reassurance that my lackadaisical (which I totally wanted to spell: laxidasical) approach to my physical fitness was actually balanced and responsible…

Seriously, it's LACKAdaisical??? I've been pronouncing it wrong my ENTIRE life?!!?  

I hate when I find out how stupid I am… :(

So the truth is I'm a part time fitness freak, but a full time enthusiast!!! I love movement.  I love moving, I love sharing with others cool ways to move and get strong, I love and appreciate the cool movements of others… be it dancing, gymnastics, football, baseball, track and field, swimming and diving, circus tricks, skate boarding, snow boarding, BMX, weightlifting… 

I LOVE IT!!!   IT'S FACINATING!!!   IT'S AMZING!!!

Human machines are awesome… the end.

SO…. What was I doing???

I was doing the exact same thing as last time, only this time I wasn't showing off in front off a middle school track team… so I've got that going for me…

I was doing a Round off, Back Hand Spring, Layout (the first time it was just a tuck… just saying)

Only in this clip, all my tendons and muscles stuck nicely together… as they should.  

Look, I am almost 40 years old (just 8 months to go). I REALIZE this might not be the most normal behavior for a 40 year old, BUT IT IS NORMAL FOR ME!!!! This is what I love. This is how I fight the "old-timers gremlin" in my head. I'm a kid here and I LIKE IT.  

Don't get me wrong, I feel it after a few tumbling passes. I see pretty little sparkles sometimes, but I LOVE IT and much to the chagrin of my friends out there… I PLAN TO DO IT AGAIN… (You know, as soon as they sew me back together).

WHY SURGERY??? Precisely because of my obstinate attitude displayed in the previous paragraph… I'M BOUNCY DAMMIT!!! and I plan to be bouncy again.  I could opt out of surgery, but the healing will include much more scar tissue which has less elasticity than muscles and tendons.  Therefore, taking into consideration my bouncy nature, a higher likelihood of rerupture… and AIN'T NOBODY GOT TIME FOR THAT!!!

So I opt for the longer recovery process in order that I have a longer and bouncier lifestyle after the fact…

Surgery is scheduled for tomorrow. I have so much more to share with you on how this has been a blessing even though it brings with it so many challenges and how it is affecting every avenue in my life… 

Peace out friends… See you on the other side of the knife!!!

XO, 

Julie Catherine Barnes Maurer

Keep On Truckin'

Howdy Friends!!! Good News!!! I went to see Doc Fugle today and he says I am right on track and I should come back to see him in a month...A MONTH!?!?! UGH! How about three days? Maybe a week? TWO WEEKS TOPS!!! Nope, it's a month, but here's the thing, over the next month my orders are to start walking at home without the boot! WITHOUT THE BOOT!!!


(Psst, don't tell, but I started doing that last week...hey, sometimes a girl has to pee and doesn't want to take the time to pull on a compression sock and then lace and velcro a boot...I'm just sayin').


The next step for me is in two weeks when I have the green light to walk OUTSIDE without the boot!!! I am giddy with excitement! Here's the deal, I have permission (nagging monotonous internal voice: two-weeks-from-now-as-long-as-I-practice-at-home-on-flat-even-surfaces) to go OUTSIDE of the home to MORE FLAT and EVEN surfaces and ........

W - A - L - K!!!!

I do realize that I am over using the punctuation that represents excitement, but I WANT YOU TO KNOW HOW EXCITED I AM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Oh, and somewhat NERVOUS :-/

At the doc's office I felt like I have been ordered to walk a FINE line. On one hand they keep telling me to "BE CAREFUL! We don't want you to re-rupture" which is quickly followed by "Why are you limping? You need to push through." I am continually looking for the middle ground between being too aggressive and too tentative... So far so good 'cuz every time I go visit Doc seems pleased with my progress.

Since I was such a model patient I decided to push the envelope and ask (O.K., beg) for rehab...Doc Fugle says, "you may not need rehab." The other doctor said, "We'll get you into therapy, don't worry." ;) So, I decide this is a good time to mention my plans to run a 5K on the 6 month anniversary of my ATR (achilles tendon rupture)... and he stops... he looks at the ground, so I repeat my request for permission only louder, thinking he didn't hear me and he says, "GIMME A MINUTE, I'M THINKING!" Ooops, I hope I didn't make him mad... Then he says, "We'll talk about it in a month..." A MONTH! Again with the MONTH?!?! (Maybe I did make him mad)? No talking about Physical Therapy or running for one more month.



In the meantime I will be enjoying a little getaway with the girls. I'll be doing some swimming which I have not only been given permission but have been encouraged to do! I will also be shopping and karaoke-ing which I have been discouraged to do, but eh, it's vacation!!! :)

In case you are following the boot here she was today:The boot at Piano lessons

Thanks for reading...pass it on!

I'm a WEANer!!!

That's right!!! You heard it hear first!!! I am off the crutches :)

Last Wednesday I went to see Dr. Fugle and he and his peeps adjusted the boot to just five degrees short of whatever normal is. AND he said I can start walking without crutches, to which I replied "WHAT? YOU CRAZY" and I gave him three snaps in a Z formation!!! Not really, but when I tried to walk in the office it was a MASSIVE FAIL!!! Oh Lord, it HURT!!! I really did THINK he was crazy and he thought it was funny, but he told me I could wean myself off the crutches over the next week by spending a couple of days on two crutches and then a few days on one crutch and finally none!!! Just the boot!

Day 1 Wednesday (after appointment)-Two Crutches - Add Weight:
YEEOOUCH!!! The new angle SUCKS!!! It hurts like H-E-double hockey sticks, PLUS, the boot MOVES now!!! That's right, instead of just being in the stretched position it flexes and when it reaches it's maximum (new) angle I see stars and I break out in a sweat and sometimes get a little light headed...mother of pearl it hurts!

Day 2 - Two Crutches/Lets Try One? - Oooh I feel so free, well not really, although, now I can carry stuff in one hand! But, I am so SLOW.

Day 3 - One Crutch - Aw Screw It: I started the day with one crutch, but at some point it was just in the way...So, I hobbled around still VERY SLOWLY and not at all smooth, but with both hands free and life was GOOD...UNTIL I sat down and then tried to get back up and then I needed one crutch again, cuz maybe when the Doc said to spend a couple of days on one crutch he knew what he was talking about :-/
This evening I used the crutches at Eddie's high school reunion. It's kinda weird going back to the crutches after knowing I can walk without, I felt a little like a fraud, but mostly I knew that after a loonng first day of walking I could not count on being fully able-bodied...

Days 4,5 and today: There is some soreness in the back of my knee on the ATR (achilles tendon rupture) leg. I know this feeling, it's sort of a feeling of hyper extension mixed with weakness. I tend to baby the tendon by walking somewhat straight legged and due to my bow legs it can result in a minor hyper extension in the knee all to avoid the "full" range of motion that the boot allows (that I should be striving for...please don't tell)! Every first step is filled with pins and needles and after a period of time I begin to feel pain and fatigue. I try to concentrate on keeping my toes forward and walking properly, but I know that I get lazy and do what is less painful on my achilles when I want to keep going and it starts its nagging. The result is... now I need a chiropractor! I can feel soreness in my opposite hip and up and down my back, but all in the name of PROGRESS!!! It's a good theme, I think I'll stick with it :)

My next appointment is next week and we shall see what we shall see!!! I am anxious and nervous to start physical therapy but mostly anxious!!!






The Boot and the Blog and the Dog


The Boot on the way to the Monroe Jefferson Class of 1990 High School Reunion

NWB -> PWB -> FWB! It Could be Worse

For those of you out there who have had your fun with foot, ankle, knee or leg injury, these little abbreviations may evoke a strong emotional response. Having graduated from a NWB to a PWB makes me swell with pride and hope for one day being FWB!!!



The boot continues it's travels (my brother informs me that the boot is the new Traveling Gnome) Here it is at Tim Horton's




Late last night I came across a blog called Achilles Tendon Rupture Recovery http://achillesblog.com/dennis/ that I found very inspiring. I was searching for my goal and trying to determine what was realistic. I was originally thinking about and an event in February, something easy like a 5K or a 10K, primarily due to the way my doctors have waggled their fingers in my face and chanted things like, "We know patients like you," and "If you don't listen you will re-rupture," and "you're very bouncy, that could be a problem." At first I was DEFENSIVE... "YOU DON"T KNOW ME!!!" As I reflected (alone in my room playing Ben Folds "You Don't Know Me" http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FRgQns-TJGM on my Ipod, but ultimately realizing that in fact they DID know me and that I had better be a good girl and follow the rules!

Lemme back up for a minute and reveal the NWB, PWB and FWB... NWB = Non Weight Bearing. I was completely NWB for the first month post op. When I went in for the BOOT CRANK, four weeks post op, I was given permission to be PWB (Partial Weight Bearing). PROGRESS!!! :) I can put weight on my heal, but not so much on my toes. I have been using the scale to see how many pounds of pressure I can tolerate and I started at about 27lbs and over the past two weeks have slowly made it close to 60lbs of pressure!!! If you are one of my mother hens out there DON"T WORRY!!! I only apply pressure until I hear the doctors voices in my head! Sometimes I think I am taking this W-A-Y T-O S-L-O-W, but then I see the pointing, wagging finger in my face and I hear the doctor's words and I feel the intense pain and I remember, this is a ROAD to recovery, a JOURNEY... A marathon and not a sprint, so to speak. I will reach the finish line and be Full Weight Bearing before you or I know it!

So, I found this wonderful little (actually quite large and involved) website and I read about a guy who was jogging by his 6 month ATR (achilles tendon rupture) anniversary!!! I CAN DO THAT!!! (I say that bouncing and clapping, but from a seated position)! I am so inspired and excited and full of good mojo thanks to this post. I can tell I am making some of you uncomfortable. I can hear you thinking, "don't get your hopes up," and "not everyone heals the same," and "be careful." Thank you for your concern, it is duly noted and you and that little doubt voice that lives in my head have some very mature and important points to make, BUT THIS IS MY NEW GOAL!!! Remember Kalin Lucas and his goal to recover and to win an NCAA Championship??? http://julieisaheal.blogspot.com/2010/06/in-good-company-with-david-beckham-and.html

Well, There is a 5K in Lake Orion on the weekend of my 6 month ATR anniversary! It's my NCAA Championships!! Well at least it's my road to the playoffs!!! I may have to walk some hills, I may limp, but I want to do this!!!

It could be worse! I could be here NOT talking about what's next. Not seeing progress. I definitely have moments throughout the day when I am SO FURIOUS AND FRUSTRATED with my limitations, but ultimately I know this is just a hiccup, a sneeze really on the grand spectrum of life's adventures.

The reason this is SOOO exciting is because I had originally had thought that February was going to be my goal and here's why... I am under the impression - because the Doctor said the words - that I should expect to be "normal" by 6 months. In my mind that meant that Thanksgiving would be the START of any kind of training, but in fact once I start therapy, which is more like SEPTEMBER, I will be "training" to put one foot in front of the other!!! Can you feel the excitement?

Here is what I know and that I am choosing to ignore right now: I know that the FWB is going to hurt like a !#%!@#$%^&* (i don't even know what cuss word that is, probably all of them), I know that there are going to be posts here that are NOT as happy and fun as this exciting and hopeful post. I know rehab is going to suck :(
I also know that it's gonna make me better and! And I just can't stop being excited right now!!!

In the meantime, the boot is still gettin around :)




Here we are at the beach...











and airing out poolside at Michigan's Adventure.

Aint Nothin Gonna Break My Stride

Matthew Wilder sang it best:

Ain't nothin' gonna to break my stride
Nobody's gonna slow me down, oh-no
I got to keep on movin'...

To say this hasn't slowed me down would be a little bit of a stretch, but keeping moving has kept me from throwing myself an all out Pity Party of the grandest kind!!!

The "crankies" and the lack of patience seem to be waning, not with absolution, but my goal this week of having appropriate expectations seems to be helping. I think. I suppose you have to ask the peeps I live with about that??? There was a chart for last week that set the ground work for the expectations! A LOT got accomplished and that was wonderful. The goals for this week have not been set and with a 2 day getaway in the plans I have a feeling very little will get accomplished, but I will breathe deep and chalk it up to SUMMER VACATION and be O.K. with it :)

My other goal this week was not to cry too much and I have met that goal with flying colors!!! I was a little uncomfortable for the first few days after the boot adjustment, but now feel pretty darn good. Some days I still do too much and my foot and ankle swell and ache and I am reminded to elevate and behave.

The things that keep me going and keep my spirits up include Movie Nights with the family, Coffee Meetings with the girls, CrossFit, the many Graduation Parties/BBQ's and of course all the new babies! I like having things to go to and to be a part of. I appreciate feeling included :)

The things I struggle with still are: 1. Not having a job this summer and feeling stuck, feeling like I am not contributing, 2. I get frustrated that I cannot go for a run or even a walk. On one hand I feel like my leg is getting stronger and I think I'll be able to take little steps or scoots, but it's just not true. I have been measuring the pounds of force that I am able to tolerate on the bathroom scale and I am only up 40 lbs on my ATR (achilles tendon rupture) and that is only about 1/3 of my total body weight, so I still have a ways to go :(

I have been getting pictures of where the boot can go to show you and remind myself that I am still on the move. That "Ain't nothin' gonna to break my stride, Nobody's gonna slow me down, oh-no I got to keep on movin'..."


The Boot on the road ... I am NOT driving (in this pic) ;P












The Boot in Starbucks ... mmmmmmmm














The Boot and a Baby :)















Thanks for reading...pass it on!

Dove Chocolates Have All The Answers

It's true! On the sad days, which seem to be fewer and father between, the Dove Dark Chocolate with Almonds were not only yummy, but when I opened them up (sometimes 4 or 5 at a time... or 6) there was always a sweet little quip precariously placed to placate my inner meanie voice.

You heard me, my meanie voice. You have one, the one that tells you, "you're not good enough, smart enough, strong enough, pretty enough, organized enough, well rounded enough, blah, blah blah enough... That voice was LOUD AND CLEAR at the on set of this journey. It took an entire bag of Dove Chocolates, plus friends, lots of good encouraging friends to get me to here - the three-weeks-later place.

Today and for the past few days I have felt considerably happy! I know right?!?! HAPPY!

Did you know about these "fortune cookie-esque" words of wisdom? Well, in my bag of Doves these words were revealed: "Don't look back - you've already been there." How appropriate!!! Since my feelings of embarrassment were ONLY outweighed by the pain in the first week! I couldn't help but to look back! The meanie voice would repeatedly badger me with, "you are such a fool," and "how did you get here, oh that's right, you are such a fool." But as I unwrapped another little golden wrapper and popped one more delicious dark chocolate in my mouth and read the words again, slowly, the mortification melted with the morsel...mmmmm :)

What else did I learn from my bag of chocolates? One of my favorites: "Be still, breathe, know - you are fine."
I'm fine...... I am fine.
Oooh, this one was hard to swallow. Not the chocolate, non of those were difficult, but the words...Be Still. Um well, the day after surgery I was at a piano recital and the day after that I was at a track meet and the next day I went shopping for my son's and husband's birthdays and the next day and the next... Being still can be a very big challenge. Knowing that I'm fine, hmmm, well, I gotta tell you, I don't think I really take inventory too often on my actual state of well being. What about you guys out there? Do you ever really stop and say, I really need to do such and such for MYSELF in order to have everything else work without a heaping pile of bitterness? NOPE! "Be Still, breathe, know - you are fine." My eyes were hot and sting-y and blurry the first time my chocolate gave me permission to stop and breath and know that everything was going to be all right.

I should point out that I am not so sappy that I think candy wrapper sayings are healing me. I KNOW that eating a bag of chocolates by myself while I cry is what really heals a girl!

Many of the sayings repeated themselves and at the beginning of the Achilles Tendon Rupture (ATR) process there was A LOT of eye rolling on my part. I did not want my chocolate telling me to, "Be downright silly today," or to lecture me to "Do something nice for yourself today." QUIT BOSSING ME AROUND CHOCOLATES!!! DO YOUR JOB AND HELP ME FEEL SORRY FOR MYSELF!!! DON"T YOU KNOW THIS IS A PITY PARTY?!?!? CHOCOLATES!!!

But with a little time and good friends and a schedule that helped to give me purpose, I started to take more advice from additional beautiful golden wrappers-of-reason.

"Lose yourself in a good read," Dove told me, so I did! And you know what? That totally helped me with the Be Still thing...for a minute ;)

"Sing no matter how bad you sound." I don't know how my bag of chocolates knew about my pitch problem, but I gotta tell you, there is NOTHING like belting out Gwen Stefani's "If I Was a Rich Girl," to get me felling all sassy! Ooh, especially the part where Eve raps, "Climbed all the way from the bottom to the top, now we aint gettin nothin but love!" I also find Air Supply to have some healing properties...please don't tell my friends :-/

It has been a good week. The Chocolates are gone, and that is O.K. I think I can walk on my own again...Well not actually walk, but I can get through a day without feeling too sorry for myself. I know this is a process. I know I will get through this process. I know the sadness and anger are not ALL gone from the process, but I will enjoy this happy little sugar high while it lasts!