Finding the line between asking for help and just doing things has always been a challenge for me. Generally, I think I just like to take things in my own hands and get them done. This experience of being "broken" has forced me to not only accept help but also to ask when necessary. I am fortunate to be young-ish and in relatively good shape. I have said it before and I will say it again, I am blessed with good friends who notice my needs (when I may not) and step up to the plate without hesitation. Twice this week at Oakview, as I was getting out of my car, people automatically came to my aid without my asking and made sure I was SAFELY deposited at my destination. A third time this week a certain momma wagged her finger at me and made me call her as I approached the school so she could meet me curb side :) THANK YOU GIRLS!
So where do I draw the line? Am I supposed to be laying around with my foot propped? Is it O.K. that I am "sneaking" out and driving? Mostly I feel good, but I do still get worn out.
This week I was referred to as a "tough B," a title that swelled me with pride. I was also referred to as a "strong woman," a title that strangely pissed me off. Seems weird huh? I guess in one instance I was being applauded (so to speak) for not letting this rupture disrupt my life. In the other instance I took the vernacular to mean "stop feeling sorry for yourself, because you can handle it." I know I can handle it! That doesn't mean that I don't get sad and frustrated with my condition (condition warrants air quotes as it does not deserve real quotes). But, I know that I am fine (said high pitched with raised voice and defensively). I am determined to get through this and passed this and come back better than ever. I know there are other life experiences that are far worse than an achilles tear. Trust me I know! However, this is at the forefront of my consciousness. This is the obstacle that I wake up to in the morning. This is my reality.
I CAN be a strong woman. I CAN do laundry on one leg. I HAVE laid mulch (Charlie carried it over for me), pulled weeds, put groceries away, run errands, and more. I CAN be a strong woman. I will probably get in trouble by a few friends when they realize what I have been doing! I should tell you, I appreciate it :) I appreciate when someone says, "be careful" and "can I help you with that?" I may snap a sassy "NO, I CAN DO IT!" But I may just melt and say, "You know what? That would be great, thank you." Because, like I said before, finding the line between doing and asking is always tricky and having people around me who care is the greatest gift. (Dammit, now I'm crying) Thank you friends for helping me stay in line ;)
So the verdict is I'd rather be a Tough B#!* with a side order of surrender.
Injury Update: Today marks the 3 week anniversary from injury, which means only 9 more weeks non weight bearing...maybe.
In about 10 days the doctor will adjust the boot by one click (I hope just one) to begin the process of stretching the tendon back into its normal position.
Oh my gosh ! Reading this I feel like I wrote it myself ! Thank you for sharing your experience, which is now my reality. It's helping me cope.
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