FOUR WEEKS

One month of recovery under my belt. I gotta admit I'm surprised how quickly it has gone by. At this point in the game, I am still in the boot and there is very little pain. I am almost getting...comfortable? Well, not exactly comfortable, how about complacent? I'm not sure that's the right sentiment either. At day 32-ish I feel at peace with where I am on this road to recovery. I can get certain things done and get around pretty well. With that being said, I went in this morning for the dreaded "BOOT CRANKING." The anticipation had me in a sad and cranky place last night. The actual stretch today felt pretty good. It was a feeling of progress!!! Shortly after the appointment the feelings turned into a mild ache that I can only compare to the fiery yet dull nowhere ache of a growing pain. Those of you that know me may take this time to insert a short joke, but yes, I remember growing pains ;)

The boot cranking involved and allen wrench, a boot and a doctor. There is a dial on my boot that has been keeping my foot at an angle that has allowed the tendon and muscle to heal with a lot of slack. At my appointment, the doc used the allen wrench to change the degree of the angle on the the boot in order for the Achilles to start to stretch back to normal. Due to the nature of the tear - a jagged mess - there was some pulling down and overlapping, bringing the gastroc muscle down and pulling it a little extra to overlap the Achilles in order to have some "meat" to sew together. Even now when I have the boot off at home and I try to stretch it I can feel the incredible tightness and I question if I will truly be able to stretch this back to a usable angle :-/ For now I try to keep pushing those thoughts out of my head and just TRUST the process.

So, I'm doing ok with me, myself and the l-e-g, but me and my expectations of others are apparently still off base. I know that I can have a tough and demanding personality at times. I know that the less I can do, the more I want done. When there is something that I cannot do due to my current limitations I just may start barking orders or using some beautiful (sarcasm) passive aggressive statements that really don't do much to inspire people.

Ugh, I do not like that about me... The less I can do, the more I want done. Why do I always have to be working on me? I am exhausting myself. When will I just be content? Probably never, 'cuz content sounds kinda boring :P

This weeks mission is 1. Not too cry too much as the pieces stretchhhhh out 2. To work on appropriate expectations (there will be a chart involved).