10 Days In or 10 Days Out?

I was thinking (internally whining) again today about my ever rising level of frustration. And as I began to think of how I would appropriately vent without the possibility of my husband and children totally abandoning me due to my cranky and downright irritable demeanor, I started to think about how far into this delightful experience I am.

I am 10 days out from the surgery. 10 days away from the very beginning of this journey. I am 10 days better than the day I ripped a very crucial tendon. I am 10 days away from being cut open, pieced together and sewn back up. I am 10 days out.

I am also 10 days in. 10 days into the recovery process. 10 days in to wearing a boot. 10 days in to using crutches and wheelchairs. 10 days into being helpless/useless. 10 days in to relying on others to do what used to be the simplest tasks. I am just 10 days in to a ??-months long sentence. I am 10 days in.

I am lucky. I have been blessed with great friends and a great community. My family has been fed everyday for the past 10 days. It's as if my friends know that my family will starve to death if I do not feed them. I believe that my kids will learn a lot about food preparations this summer, but as for now they are well taken care of and I am MOST GRATEFUL!!!

I am frustrated. I love my children and my husband, but I feel let down by their version of care-giving. As the wife and mother of this brood, I will of course take the guilty blame for this problem. I have not expected enough of them to this point which is why many times when I ask for help or a favor I seem to get the eye roll and sigh. I have always been healthy and busy and able to take care of myself and the 4 other people who live in my house. This they have come to expect. I guess I thought that my example of care-giving would be enough to get reciprocated. I am 10 days into helplessness, but I am SEVENTEEN YEARS IN to doing for others. sacrificing. laundering. feeding. giving. doing. Don't get me wrong, I'm no saint. My house is not ever spotless, there are always weeds in the yard. But I don't think I roll my eyes and sigh every time I have cooked a dinner, gone to the emergency room, was asked at 10 o'clock at night to wash a uniform, went to a game, concert, recital, work party..... (sometimes I do, but mostly I don't).

So, throwing my kids and hubby under the bus isn't the nicest way to blog. They are good people, just not quite a mom/wife.

I am grateful. I am surrounded in my life by mothers and wives! The women in my life have sacrificed their time and given of their talents to make sure things are getting done. Not just the food, but taking me shopping for birthdays, taking me to the doctor, phone calls, visits, time, time, time and no eye rolls, no sighs :)

I am stopped at the corner of Grateful Blvd. and Resentment Ln. and the light is blinking red. I really need to just keep going down the good road, but I keep getting stuck at the light.
Am I expecting to much? Um NO!
Is my family as frustrated as I am? Probably.
Do I care? A little, but not really, it's their turn to step it up!
Should I change my expectations? No! But maybe my approach.
I am a go, go, go kinda girl and I just may want things done the way I want them done RIGHT NOW, SO DO IT!!! And with that I will put myself under the bus, but just a little ;) And try to improve my demeanor. I just hope they will try to improve theirs, because we are only 10 days in!

I had a doctors visit today and all went well. My friend Jill drew the short straw today and did the driving. It was a great day to chat and get caught up, until I left her in the waiting room with a VERY chatty lady...sorry :( The appointment went well and the steri-strips were removed to reveal.....THE STICTCHES!!!! I took a picture and will share that soon! There are new steri-strips over the incision now, but everything looked good. I go back in 3 weeks to begin the exciting process of dialing the boot!!! (I don't think it's gonna feel so hot :( But, it will get me that much closer to walking)!