Achilles Rupture and Road to Recovery

Happy Anniversary PR

2011-05-20T19:43:00.000-07:00

Well what do you know, I haven't blogged in months and months and now the ONE YEAR ANNIVERSARY of my ATR is here. Since August 2010 and my 4minute and 58 second 400m adventure, there has been a complete return to normalcy. Life is busy and I guess once I got back on my feet (ba dah dum) there was no time to report progress...well, I know that's just an excuse for not making time :)

Since my last post I was able to accomplish my goal of "running" a 5K in November which was my 6 month anniversary. After that I ran a New Years Resolution run and improved my time and actually ran the entire event :) I have been fortunate enough to compete in a CrossFit Games competition and although I cannot keep up with the big dogs, I still felt proud of being in the mix with such great people and athletes.

So, here's the deal...Today marks the one year anniversary (on the track calendar) of the Julie Maurer 2010 Achilles Tendon Rupture and as a gift to myself I vowed to run - I mean really run- the 400m dash. The 400m goal was set back when I first started walking again on my own. Once I lost the crutches I found myself on the track just to get steps on the pedometer. As of last August one lap around the track would take five minutes of my life!!! At the time it was O.K., because my walking skills were still in there infancy, but today I am running and jumping and pretending that I am NOT turning 37 on Monday!!! And today I RAN the 400m. I mean I really ran it!!! Although, around the 300m mark I felt like a ton of bricks going up hill with the parking break on, I still finished it in a time of.................. drum roll please..............1 minute 13 seconds!!! O.K. it's not stellar, it's no 44 second world record, but IT IS MY PR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So there we have it, one year in and I am better than new. Now it's time to improve that PR!!!

Hang in there to all my ATR com-padres... there is hope for the future!!! And THANK YOU TO ALL MY FRIENDS THAT FED ME AND ENCOURAGED ME ALONG THE WAY :)

Set your goals! And Good Luck!!! I BELIEVE IN YOU :)

400M PR 4min 58sec

2010-08-16T09:28:00.000-07:00

Howdy friends! I missed you :) I feel like I don't have a whole lot to tell you... But, I'm sure once I get started I will find plenty to blah blah blog about.

The boot is officially retired unless of course I decide to do some sort of hiking adventure, but I just don't have that on the docket so I think we're all safe...well I am...for now.

This past week I discovered that I can walk a 400 meter loop (one lap around the track) in 4 minutes 58 seconds!!! This is exciting and also deflating. I am happy to be walking sans boot and I am sad that I am being lapped multiple times by the kids at the track. There has been some swelling in the ankle region as I push myself more, but that seems to be subsiding.

For the record, this guy is Jeremy Wariner and he is a Track and Field gold medalist. He can go around the track 5-6 times in the time I go 400m. His time in Indianapolis this past weekend was 44.67 secs!

I still walk with a limp and anytime I have been OFF of my foot for a bit and I get up to go again it feels like I am starting over! First thing in the morning is THE WORST!!! I feel like a gremlin got in there in the middle of the night and tightened it up another inch! Once I get moving I do pretty O.K. but sometimes (like when I'm trying for my PR {personal record} in the 400m) I'm feeling so good and then I think, "I bet I could jog," and then say I jog about ten steps and THEN it hurts again and I'm sad and depressed again and I think I'm never gonna be normal again... :(

Who am I kidding, normal? Again? .....Well, you know what I mean :)

SIDE NOTE RE: A FELLOW ACHILLES TENDON RUPTURER:
So, there is a fresh new ATR out there and my heart just breaks for him. His name is John Orozco and he is a great young gymnast. This weekend was the Visa Championships in Hartford Connecticut. This competition qualifies athletes to Worlds which is generally a preview of the Olympics. I am so sad for John, but have great hope that his determination and - let's face it - his youth will have him back in time for LONDON 2012!!! Fingers Crossed.

*By the way, John's gymnastics was a lot more impressive than my round-off back handspring back tuck...
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BACK TO ME, "CUZ THAT'S JUST THE WAY I AM:

Stay tuned for my new PR in the 400, I hope to knock off a few seconds this evening and I'll keep you posted...as long as it's a success ;P

Nine days until the next appointment and I'll hopefully have an idea when PT
(physical therapy) can start.

Ba da ba da ba da that's all folks!

Since there is no more boot there are really no more adventures of where the boot has been. I do have this one last pic of the boot about to go to sea :)

The Boot on Lake Michigan along the Sleeping Bear Dunes National Shoreline about to be happily sent to Davy Jones Locker ;)

Have a great day! Keep on keepin' on!

Achilles Rupture and Road to Recovery: More Progress More Frustration

2010-08-05T13:33:00.000-07:00

Achilles Rupture and Road to Recovery: More Progress More Frustration: "I guess I'm just in a dumpy kind of place right now. I shouldn't be. I just got back from a great girls getaway. I have a beautiful famil..."

More Progress More Frustration

2010-08-05T03:41:00.000-07:00

I guess I'm just in a dumpy kind of place right now. I shouldn't be. I just got back from a great girls getaway. I have a beautiful family. I am walking with and without the boot! But sometimes I just get in the dumps. I'm sad (and grateful) that the girls getaway couldn't last a little longer. I am nostalgic (and proud) that my family is getting so big and independent. And I am disheartened (and impressed) with the progress I am making on this Achilles rupture and road to recovery.

Maybe it's because I am a Gemini? Sign of the twins, the yin and the yang, back and forth, blah blah blah... I guess the good thing is at least I can recognize the positives even when I'm feeling negative
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Here is the quick update:

I am walking without the boot around the house and I can already see my calf muscle getting stronger. That feels great!

I am still unable to stand on my toes even in the pool. When I discovered that unfathomable weakness, it just about brought me to tears...I don't know why? I mean I have been with me every step of the way. I should realize it's just the next step in the process. But, not being able to go on my tippy-toes EVEN UNDER WATER really kicked me in the face and reminded me that there is still a long way to go.

Yesterday I walked 400M ON LAND without the boot!!!

I ended up doing it without shoes too :-P

As it turns out the incision area is still very tender and I could not tolerate the shoes for too long. The funny thing was I totally felt like a little kid walking around in daddy's shoes as I slid into my tennies for the first time and awkwardly clomped around in my bedroom!

I was on my feet a lot yesterday and had some pretty significant swelling, so I watched SO YOU THINK YOU CAN DANCE and iced that puppy!
(I like to pretend that's a poster of me).

I am at once limited AND strong and I just have to keep reminding myself to look at this experience from the right perspective. I am blessed to be surrounded by people who remind me to just keep going :)

No excuses!

I came across this next link via Facebook and my friends at Oakland County CrossFit. They have not only helped to keep me sane but have been supportive and motivating along this entire journey. I still get frustrated with myself but I am also inspired by others. If you have a few minutes watch Kyle Maynard. He isn't waiting for something as easy as an Achilles to heal...He just not waiting PERIOD.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eQ0VgKGophI

AND NOW that you all may feel a little lazy but hopefully INSPIRED, here comes the traveling boot section of the blog :)

First stop the Trophy Room at Boyne Mountain

Next stop the boot in a tree in Petoskey

I call this Adventures with PETOSKEY PEDICAB!
I highly recommend them :)
Josh and Calvin were delightful hosts and gentlemen
They didn't make one comment about our weight
P.S. Josh is taking the picture

The boot works the booty with BABY GOT BACK
Karaoke night at Giuseppe's in Charlevoix
If you go there say HI to Ray the bartender! He was also the bouncer and kept us safe!

The Boot on the Mountain
going down the chairlift

Good Bye Up North --- for now

For now the boot is home. I still wear it when I leave the house, but I will be wearing less and less over the next week or so!

Thanks for checking in! I love feed back! It's also fun to share with your friends :) Pass it on!!!

Keep On Truckin'

2010-07-28T12:26:00.001-07:00

Howdy Friends!!! Good News!!! I went to see Doc Fugle today and he says I am right on track and I should come back to see him in a month...A MONTH!?!?! UGH! How about three days? Maybe a week? TWO WEEKS TOPS!!! Nope, it's a month, but here's the thing, over the next month my orders are to start walking at home without the boot! WITHOUT THE BOOT!!!

(Psst, don't tell, but I started doing that last week...hey, sometimes a girl has to pee and doesn't want to take the time to pull on a compression sock and then lace and velcro a boot...I'm just sayin').

The next step for me is in two weeks when I have the green light to walk OUTSIDE without the boot!!! I am giddy with excitement! Here's the deal, I have permission (nagging monotonous internal voice: two-weeks-from-now-as-long-as-I-practice-at-home-on-flat-even-surfaces) to go OUTSIDE of the home to MORE FLAT and EVEN surfaces and ........

W - A - L - K!!!!

I do realize that I am over using the punctuation that represents excitement, but I WANT YOU TO KNOW HOW EXCITED I AM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Oh, and somewhat NERVOUS :-/

At the doc's office I felt like I have been ordered to walk a FINE line. On one hand they keep telling me to "BE CAREFUL! We don't want you to re-rupture" which is quickly followed by "Why are you limping? You need to push through." I am continually looking for the middle ground between being too aggressive and too tentative... So far so good 'cuz every time I go visit Doc seems pleased with my progress.

Since I was such a model patient I decided to push the envelope and ask (O.K., beg) for rehab...Doc Fugle says, "you may not need rehab." The other doctor said, "We'll get you into therapy, don't worry." ;) So, I decide this is a good time to mention my plans to run a 5K on the 6 month anniversary of my ATR (achilles tendon rupture)... and he stops... he looks at the ground, so I repeat my request for permission only louder, thinking he didn't hear me and he says, "GIMME A MINUTE, I'M THINKING!" Ooops, I hope I didn't make him mad... Then he says, "We'll talk about it in a month..." A MONTH! Again with the MONTH?!?! (Maybe I did make him mad)? No talking about Physical Therapy or running for one more month.

In the meantime I will be enjoying a little getaway with the girls. I'll be doing some swimming which I have not only been given permission but have been encouraged to do! I will also be shopping and karaoke-ing which I have been discouraged to do, but eh, it's vacation!!! :)

In case you are following the boot here she was today:The boot at Piano lessons

Thanks for reading...pass it on!

I'm a WEANer!!!

2010-07-20T08:57:00.001-07:00

That's right!!! You heard it hear first!!! I am off the crutches :)

Last Wednesday I went to see Dr. Fugle and he and his peeps adjusted the boot to just five degrees short of whatever normal is. AND he said I can start walking without crutches, to which I replied "WHAT? YOU CRAZY" and I gave him three snaps in a Z formation!!! Not really, but when I tried to walk in the office it was a MASSIVE FAIL!!! Oh Lord, it HURT!!! I really did THINK he was crazy and he thought it was funny, but he told me I could wean myself off the crutches over the next week by spending a couple of days on two crutches and then a few days on one crutch and finally none!!! Just the boot!

Day 1 Wednesday (after appointment)-Two Crutches - Add Weight:
YEEOOUCH!!! The new angle SUCKS!!! It hurts like H-E-double hockey sticks, PLUS, the boot MOVES now!!! That's right, instead of just being in the stretched position it flexes and when it reaches it's maximum (new) angle I see stars and I break out in a sweat and sometimes get a little light headed...mother of pearl it hurts!

Day 2 - Two Crutches/Lets Try One? - Oooh I feel so free, well not really, although, now I can carry stuff in one hand! But, I am so SLOW.

Day 3 - One Crutch - Aw Screw It: I started the day with one crutch, but at some point it was just in the way...So, I hobbled around still VERY SLOWLY and not at all smooth, but with both hands free and life was GOOD...UNTIL I sat down and then tried to get back up and then I needed one crutch again, cuz maybe when the Doc said to spend a couple of days on one crutch he knew what he was talking about :-/
This evening I used the crutches at Eddie's high school reunion. It's kinda weird going back to the crutches after knowing I can walk without, I felt a little like a fraud, but mostly I knew that after a loonng first day of walking I could not count on being fully able-bodied...

Days 4,5 and today: There is some soreness in the back of my knee on the ATR (achilles tendon rupture) leg. I know this feeling, it's sort of a feeling of hyper extension mixed with weakness. I tend to baby the tendon by walking somewhat straight legged and due to my bow legs it can result in a minor hyper extension in the knee all to avoid the "full" range of motion that the boot allows (that I should be striving for...please don't tell)! Every first step is filled with pins and needles and after a period of time I begin to feel pain and fatigue. I try to concentrate on keeping my toes forward and walking properly, but I know that I get lazy and do what is less painful on my achilles when I want to keep going and it starts its nagging. The result is... now I need a chiropractor! I can feel soreness in my opposite hip and up and down my back, but all in the name of PROGRESS!!! It's a good theme, I think I'll stick with it :)

My next appointment is next week and we shall see what we shall see!!! I am anxious and nervous to start physical therapy but mostly anxious!!!

The Boot and the Blog and the Dog

The Boot on the way to the Monroe Jefferson Class of 1990 High School Reunion

Click Click Boom...I mean Boot

2010-07-13T19:14:00.000-07:00

Seven weeks on crutches is kind of a long time. I still have a ways to go, but today (7/14/10) marks another milestone in the recovery process. I am going in for another turn of the dial, another crank on the wheel, a click click BOOM!

In the past three weeks since my first boot adjustment I have noticed SOME range of motion (ROM) returning.

Immediately after surgery I could wiggle my toes and that was the complete ROM for my foot/ankle/achilles.

One month post op I had the boot adjusted from a very pointed down position (plantarflexion- if I am not mistaken) to a slightly less pointed position, but still not flat enough to walk on. There has been some achy-ness in this process, but nothing requiring pain medicine.

This is what it looks like today while trying to stand with my feet together. When standing completely straight I am not able to get my left heal to the ground... YET.

However, when I do put a little weight on it I only put weight in the heal which means I am standing all cockamamie which in turn makes me wonder how my knees, hips and back will be feeling as the process continues?!?! OH WELL, WHO CARES, because at least THE PROCESS CONTINUES!!!! YAY!

(Yay, for now, I may not be so chipper after the click, click, boot)!

***On a good note, while comparing my incision to others posted on the internet machine, I will say that my surgeons are meticulous with the needle! A great sew job THANKS and THANK GOODNESS!!***

In case you're following the boot...Here it is on the 4th of July with pal Leigh Leigh. We crutched and wheeled to down town Lake Orion and rolled back home for sparklers and and Costco Fireworks in the driveway... :) GO BOOT!

NWB -> PWB -> FWB! It Could be Worse

2010-07-08T04:57:00.000-07:00

For those of you out there who have had your fun with foot, ankle, knee or leg injury, these little abbreviations may evoke a strong emotional response. Having graduated from a NWB to a PWB makes me swell with pride and hope for one day being FWB!!!

The boot continues it's travels (my brother informs me that the boot is the new Traveling Gnome) Here it is at Tim Horton's

Late last night I came across a blog called Achilles Tendon Rupture Recovery http://achillesblog.com/dennis/ that I found very inspiring. I was searching for my goal and trying to determine what was realistic. I was originally thinking about and an event in February, something easy like a 5K or a 10K, primarily due to the way my doctors have waggled their fingers in my face and chanted things like, "We know patients like you," and "If you don't listen you will re-rupture," and "you're very bouncy, that could be a problem." At first I was DEFENSIVE... "YOU DON"T KNOW ME!!!" As I reflected (alone in my room playing Ben Folds "You Don't Know Me" http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FRgQns-TJGM on my Ipod, but ultimately realizing that in fact they DID know me and that I had better be a good girl and follow the rules!

Lemme back up for a minute and reveal the NWB, PWB and FWB... NWB = Non Weight Bearing. I was completely NWB for the first month post op. When I went in for the BOOT CRANK, four weeks post op, I was given permission to be PWB (Partial Weight Bearing). PROGRESS!!! :) I can put weight on my heal, but not so much on my toes. I have been using the scale to see how many pounds of pressure I can tolerate and I started at about 27lbs and over the past two weeks have slowly made it close to 60lbs of pressure!!! If you are one of my mother hens out there DON"T WORRY!!! I only apply pressure until I hear the doctors voices in my head! Sometimes I think I am taking this W-A-Y T-O S-L-O-W, but then I see the pointing, wagging finger in my face and I hear the doctor's words and I feel the intense pain and I remember, this is a ROAD to recovery, a JOURNEY... A marathon and not a sprint, so to speak. I will reach the finish line and be Full Weight Bearing before you or I know it!

So, I found this wonderful little (actually quite large and involved) website and I read about a guy who was jogging by his 6 month ATR (achilles tendon rupture) anniversary!!! I CAN DO THAT!!! (I say that bouncing and clapping, but from a seated position)! I am so inspired and excited and full of good mojo thanks to this post. I can tell I am making some of you uncomfortable. I can hear you thinking, "don't get your hopes up," and "not everyone heals the same," and "be careful." Thank you for your concern, it is duly noted and you and that little doubt voice that lives in my head have some very mature and important points to make, BUT THIS IS MY NEW GOAL!!! Remember Kalin Lucas and his goal to recover and to win an NCAA Championship??? http://julieisaheal.blogspot.com/2010/06/in-good-company-with-david-beckham-and.htm l

Well, There is a 5K in Lake Orion on the weekend of my 6 month ATR anniversary! It's my NCAA Championships!! Well at least it's my road to the playoffs!!! I may have to walk some hills, I may limp, but I want to do this!!!

It could be worse! I could be here NOT talking about what's next. Not seeing progress. I definitely have moments throughout the day when I am SO FURIOUS AND FRUSTRATED with my limitations, but ultimately I know this is just a hiccup, a sneeze really on the grand spectrum of life's adventures.

The reason this is SOOO exciting is because I had originally had thought that February was going to be my goal and here's why... I am under the impression - because the Doctor said the words - that I should expect to be "normal" by 6 months. In my mind that meant that Thanksgiving would be the START of any kind of training, but in fact once I start therapy, which is more like SEPTEMBER, I will be "training" to put one foot in front of the other!!! Can you feel the excitement?

Here is what I know and that I am choosing to ignore right now: I know that the FWB is going to hurt like a !#%!@#$%^&* (i don't even know what cuss word that is, probably all of them), I know that there are going to be posts here that are NOT as happy and fun as this exciting and hopeful post. I know rehab is going to suck :(
I also know that it's gonna make me better and! And I just can't stop being excited right now!!!

In the meantime, the boot is still gettin around :)

Here we are at the beach...

and airing out poolside at Michigan's Adventure.

Aint Nothin Gonna Break My Stride

2010-06-28T11:17:00.000-07:00

Matthew Wilder sang it best:

Ain't nothin' gonna to break my stride
Nobody's gonna slow me down, oh-no
I got to keep on movin'...

To say this hasn't slowed me down would be a little bit of a stretch, but keeping moving has kept me from throwing myself an all out Pity Party of the grandest kind!!!

The "crankies" and the lack of patience seem to be waning, not with absolution, but my goal this week of having appropriate expectations seems to be helping. I think. I suppose you have to ask the peeps I live with about that??? There was a chart for last week that set the ground work for the expectations! A LOT got accomplished and that was wonderful. The goals for this week have not been set and with a 2 day getaway in the plans I have a feeling very little will get accomplished, but I will breathe deep and chalk it up to SUMMER VACATION and be O.K. with it :)

My other goal this week was not to cry too much and I have met that goal with flying colors!!! I was a little uncomfortable for the first few days after the boot adjustment, but now feel pretty darn good. Some days I still do too much and my foot and ankle swell and ache and I am reminded to elevate and behave.

The things that keep me going and keep my spirits up include Movie Nights with the family, Coffee Meetings with the girls, CrossFit, the many Graduation Parties/BBQ's and of course all the new babies! I like having things to go to and to be a part of. I appreciate feeling included :)

The things I struggle with still are: 1. Not having a job this summer and feeling stuck, feeling like I am not contributing, 2. I get frustrated that I cannot go for a run or even a walk. On one hand I feel like my leg is getting stronger and I think I'll be able to take little steps or scoots, but it's just not true. I have been measuring the pounds of force that I am able to tolerate on the bathroom scale and I am only up 40 lbs on my ATR (achilles tendon rupture) and that is only about 1/3 of my total body weight, so I still have a ways to go :(

I have been getting pictures of where the boot can go to show you and remind myself that I am still on the move. That "Ain't nothin' gonna to break my stride, Nobody's gonna slow me down, oh-no I got to keep on movin'..."

The Boot on the road ... I am NOT driving (in this pic) ;P

The Boot in Starbucks ... mmmmmmmm

The Boot and a Baby :)

Thanks for reading...pass it on!

FOUR WEEKS

2010-06-20T05:37:00.000-07:00

One month of recovery under my belt. I gotta admit I'm surprised how quickly it has gone by. At this point in the game, I am still in the boot and there is very little pain. I am almost getting...comfortable? Well, not exactly comfortable, how about complacent? I'm not sure that's the right sentiment either. At day 32-ish I feel at peace with where I am on this road to recovery. I can get certain things done and get around pretty well. With that being said, I went in this morning for the dreaded "BOOT CRANKING." The anticipation had me in a sad and cranky place last night. The actual stretch today felt pretty good. It was a feeling of progress!!! Shortly after the appointment the feelings turned into a mild ache that I can only compare to the fiery yet dull nowhere ache of a growing pain. Those of you that know me may take this time to insert a short joke, but yes, I remember growing pains ;)

The boot cranking involved and allen wrench, a boot and a doctor. There is a dial on my boot that has been keeping my foot at an angle that has allowed the tendon and muscle to heal with a lot of slack. At my appointment, the doc used the allen wrench to change the degree of the angle on the the boot in order for the Achilles to start to stretch back to normal. Due to the nature of the tear - a jagged mess - there was some pulling down and overlapping, bringing the gastroc muscle down and pulling it a little extra to overlap the Achilles in order to have some "meat" to sew together. Even now when I have the boot off at home and I try to stretch it I can feel the incredible tightness and I question if I will truly be able to stretch this back to a usable angle :-/ For now I try to keep pushing those thoughts out of my head and just TRUST the process.

So, I'm doing ok with me, myself and the l-e-g, but me and my expectations of others are apparently still off base. I know that I can have a tough and demanding personality at times. I know that the less I can do, the more I want done. When there is something that I cannot do due to my current limitations I just may start barking orders or using some beautiful (sarcasm) passive aggressive statements that really don't do much to inspire people.

Ugh, I do not like that about me... The less I can do, the more I want done. Why do I always have to be working on me? I am exhausting myself. When will I just be content? Probably never, 'cuz content sounds kinda boring :P

This weeks mission is 1. Not too cry too much as the pieces stretchhhhh out 2. To work on appropriate expectations (there will be a chart involved).

Dove Chocolates Have All The Answers

2010-06-15T18:45:00.000-07:00

It's true! On the sad days, which seem to be fewer and father between, the Dove Dark Chocolate with Almonds were not only yummy, but when I opened them up (sometimes 4 or 5 at a time... or 6) there was always a sweet little quip precariously placed to placate my inner meanie voice.

You heard me, my meanie voice. You have one, the one that tells you, "you're not good enough, smart enough, strong enough, pretty enough, organized enough, well rounded enough, blah, blah blah enough... That voice was LOUD AND CLEAR at the on set of this journey. It took an entire bag of Dove Chocolates, plus friends, lots of good encouraging friends to get me to here - the three-weeks-later place.

Today and for the past few days I have felt considerably happy! I know right?!?! HAPPY!

Did you know about these "fortune cookie-esque" words of wisdom? Well, in my bag of Doves these words were revealed: "Don't look back - you've already been there." How appropriate!!! Since my feelings of embarrassment were ONLY outweighed by the pain in the first week! I couldn't help but to look back! The meanie voice would repeatedly badger me with, "you are such a fool," and "how did you get here, oh that's right, you are such a fool." But as I unwrapped another little golden wrapper and popped one more delicious dark chocolate in my mouth and read the words again, slowly, the mortification melted with the morsel...mmmmm :)

What else did I learn from my bag of chocolates? One of my favorites: "Be still, breathe, know - you are fine."
I'm fine...... I am fine.
Oooh, this one was hard to swallow. Not the chocolate, non of those were difficult, but the words...Be Still. Um well, the day after surgery I was at a piano recital and the day after that I was at a track meet and the next day I went shopping for my son's and husband's birthdays and the next day and the next... Being still can be a very big challenge. Knowing that I'm fine, hmmm, well, I gotta tell you, I don't think I really take inventory too often on my actual state of well being. What about you guys out there? Do you ever really stop and say, I really need to do such and such for MYSELF in order to have everything else work without a heaping pile of bitterness? NOPE! "Be Still, breathe, know - you are fine." My eyes were hot and sting-y and blurry the first time my chocolate gave me permission to stop and breath and know that everything was going to be all right.

I should point out that I am not so sappy that I think candy wrapper sayings are healing me. I KNOW that eating a bag of chocolates by myself while I cry is what really heals a girl!

Many of the sayings repeated themselves and at the beginning of the Achilles Tendon Rupture (ATR) process there was A LOT of eye rolling on my part. I did not want my chocolate telling me to, "Be downright silly today," or to lecture me to "Do something nice for yourself today." QUIT BOSSING ME AROUND CHOCOLATES!!! DO YOUR JOB AND HELP ME FEEL SORRY FOR MYSELF!!! DON"T YOU KNOW THIS IS A PITY PARTY?!?!? CHOCOLATES!!!

But with a little time and good friends and a schedule that helped to give me purpose, I started to take more advice from additional beautiful golden wrappers-of-reason.

"Lose yourself in a good read," Dove told me, so I did! And you know what? That totally helped me with the Be Still thing...for a minute ;)

"Sing no matter how bad you sound." I don't know how my bag of chocolates knew about my pitch problem, but I gotta tell you, there is NOTHING like belting out Gwen Stefani's "If I Was a Rich Girl," to get me felling all sassy! Ooh, especially the part where Eve raps, "Climbed all the way from the bottom to the top, now we aint gettin nothin but love!" I also find Air Supply to have some healing properties...please don't tell my friends :-/

It has been a good week. The Chocolates are gone, and that is O.K. I think I can walk on my own again...Well not actually walk, but I can get through a day without feeling too sorry for myself. I know this is a process. I know I will get through this process. I know the sadness and anger are not ALL gone from the process, but I will enjoy this happy little sugar high while it lasts!

In Good Company with David Beckham and Kalin Lucas

2010-06-12T11:22:00.000-07:00

http://i.telegraph.co.uk/telegraph/multimedia/archive/00719/sport-graphics-
2006_719264a.jpg
http://media.mlive.com/spartans_impact/photo/kalin-lucas-michigan-state-df140cb1401f908c_medium.jpg

I have been surfing the dreaded internet, typing "Achilles Rupture" into every search engine and sometimes it makes my stomach turn quick little puke-y flips and sometimes I find out that I am in good company. As it turns out this is considered an "older persons" injury...WHO'S CALLING ME OLD??? It also seems to go along with those weekend warrior types, you know the type, you might even be married to one. The guy that hasn't exercised since the the first Bush Administration, but is sure he can play a game of basketball without stretching ;) I am not too old and I have actually been fairly consistent in my workouts this year. And as my surfing has unearthed, it turns out, it's not just old outta shape guys that rupture their Achilles! Just in the past few months, two count 'em TWO elite athletes have also (also meaning "just-like-me") have had to have their muscles and tendons sewn back together.

First up David Beckham! Becks is one of the most well known people in the whole world. At age 34 (almost 35) he did the deed of completely tearing his achilles - and might I add it wasn't even a back flip! Now, for me it's a bummer, but for Becks, he was on the cusp of history!!! He was about to be the first player to appear in the World Cup for England FOUR times!!! That's a healthy career! I, on the other hand was just hoping to get to the grocery store before the milk ran out.

The reports on Beckham's recovery look like this on the world wide web: “The plan includes a complete recovery in six months, at the end of which he can play again,” the club said. http://sports.yahoo.com/soccer/news?slug=ap-beckhaminjured

I don't mean to sound glad about that, because I certainly don't wish any pain on another human being. What makes me happy or I guess content is that I have been given the same time frame. In reading Beckham's story as well as the next athlete's, I wondered how my mid-west recovery process would compare to the State-of-the-Art care and rehab of these elite athletes. (I feel a little like Rocky right now, you know the one where he fights Ivan Drago? Drago has all of the high tech computers and trains in a lab while Rocky is out in a cabin in the snowy mountains using rafters and logs...Hears hoping I have that kind of heart)! :-/

So Becks ripppped his achilles in March and there are pictures of him walking about in a walking boot. With three weeks in I can't tell you how much this lifts my spirits!!! So much so that as I "sit" (I'm really laying back with my foot up) here writing, researching, skimming through pictures, I dozed off and IT happened again, A promising little dream of myself walking and it didn't even hurt! I was cautious, even in the dream, but I was doing it! Thanks Becks for the images, it truly gives me hope :)

Closer to home, during College Basketball's March Madness, one of Michigan State's beloved Spartans did the same number heading into the Final Four! What heartbreak! Kalin Lucas, tore it up, literally! Lucas was given a 4-6 month recovery time table. I'm guessing they threw that 4 months in there because he was born in 1989! Whatever whipper-snapper! And it's no surprise that reports are out there saying he is recovering ahead of schedule. Being the competitor he is, I expect there is a certain title he has his eye on! And a goal can be the greatest gift in recovery! (Also, at this time it looks like State fans should partially thank Lucas for his recovery efforts as having an impact on keeping a certain Izzo in the house)!

I found some interesting little connections in my rummaging through the internet machine. They are silly, but here we go. David, Kalin and I were all born in May! David and I just one year apart, Kalin and I one day apart! (Ok, 15 years and one day). The Boys are both 6 feet even and I am 5 feet even! I was born in Detroit and raised in the tri-county area, Kalin is also a Metro-Detroiter. David Beckham now plays in Los Angeles and I have been to Los Angeles :) And most fun of all, these guys are exceptional athletes and champions of their respective sports AND in 1988 (a year before Kalin Lucas was born) I was the Class III Compulsory Michigan State Champion in gymnastics (wow that really makes me feel like Al Bundy reliving the glory days).

Well, I'm in good company with this wretched little set back and I just wanted the guys to know that they are in good company too... with some suburban housewife in the middle of right here :)

EXTRA:
As I was writing about Kalin and how his goal for a certain title was a great recovery tool, it dawned on me that I needed a goal. I was planning on running The Brooksie Way Half Marathon this October, the doctors say NO, NO, NO!!! They say I can run it next year, but I don't want to wait 'til next year! I know I'm no Kalin Lucas, so I won't push the time frame. I'm actually a year older than Becks and I read today that his recovery is NOT going a quick as he'd like. So with all this in consideration, maybe I can start training by Thanksgiving (good timing - I'd hate to be completely sedentary with all those carbs in my reach) and be ready for an event in say February? What do you think? What is there in February?
This is my new goal, to find a goal!
Suggestions welcome!
Maybe not more than a 10K. Is that too wimpy? Too much? We'll see :)

Strong Woman or a Tough B#@!

2010-06-11T05:52:00.000-07:00

Finding the line between asking for help and just doing things has always been a challenge for me. Generally, I think I just like to take things in my own hands and get them done. This experience of being "broken" has forced me to not only accept help but also to ask when necessary. I am fortunate to be young-ish and in relatively good shape. I have said it before and I will say it again, I am blessed with good friends who notice my needs (when I may not) and step up to the plate without hesitation. Twice this week at Oakview, as I was getting out of my car, people automatically came to my aid without my asking and made sure I was SAFELY deposited at my destination. A third time this week a certain momma wagged her finger at me and made me call her as I approached the school so she could meet me curb side :) THANK YOU GIRLS!

So where do I draw the line? Am I supposed to be laying around with my foot propped? Is it O.K. that I am "sneaking" out and driving? Mostly I feel good, but I do still get worn out.

This week I was referred to as a "tough B," a title that swelled me with pride. I was also referred to as a "strong woman," a title that strangely pissed me off. Seems weird huh? I guess in one instance I was being applauded (so to speak) for not letting this rupture disrupt my life. In the other instance I took the vernacular to mean "stop feeling sorry for yourself, because you can handle it." I know I can handle it! That doesn't mean that I don't get sad and frustrated with my condition (condition warrants air quotes as it does not deserve real quotes). But, I know that I am fine (said high pitched with raised voice and defensively). I am determined to get through this and passed this and come back better than ever. I know there are other life experiences that are far worse than an achilles tear. Trust me I know! However, this is at the forefront of my consciousness. This is the obstacle that I wake up to in the morning. This is my reality.

I CAN be a strong woman. I CAN do laundry on one leg. I HAVE laid mulch (Charlie carried it over for me), pulled weeds, put groceries away, run errands, and more. I CAN be a strong woman. I will probably get in trouble by a few friends when they realize what I have been doing! I should tell you, I appreciate it :) I appreciate when someone says, "be careful" and "can I help you with that?" I may snap a sassy "NO, I CAN DO IT!" But I may just melt and say, "You know what? That would be great, thank you." Because, like I said before, finding the line between doing and asking is always tricky and having people around me who care is the greatest gift. (Dammit, now I'm crying) Thank you friends for helping me stay in line ;)

So the verdict is I'd rather be a Tough B#!* with a side order of surrender.

Injury Update: Today marks the 3 week anniversary from injury, which means only 9 more weeks non weight bearing...maybe.
In about 10 days the doctor will adjust the boot by one click (I hope just one) to begin the process of stretching the tendon back into its normal position.

TRIUMPH AT THE TRACK!!!

2010-06-05T15:15:00.000-07:00

It was a long day and it went well into the night, but I didn't notice until I looked back. Thursday was the 25th Oakland County Middle School Track and Field Championships held at Clarkston High School.

I proudly joined the Oakview team this season as an assistant coach. You may recall from previous posts that it was in fact at track practice when this Road to Recovery began (2 weeks ago). It has been a remarkable season and it didn't end anything less than remarkable.

These two weeks have been bumpy at best. I have been struggling with my limitations and NOTenjoying my lack of mobility!!! But there was track , THANK GOODNESS, there was track. I was clearly not as effective as a coach, but THANK GOODNESS (again) we had Coach Witherspoon. I couldn't get to practice on time due to having to wait for a ride :( But I had a ride in the form of my fifteen-year-old son who luckily has his permit :) Seeing MY kids (yes they are ALL MY kids)! was pure joy (O.K. some headaches when they were chatty or didn't "feel" like it, but mostly joy)!!!

Sure, sometimes I got a little jealous watching them run while I had to sit in my wheelchair, but mostly I just loved watching them work, push, endure, improve... Coaching at the long jump pit helped too. Getting to talk one on one with an athlete and discuss what they are feeling and asking them to run faster, jump higher, hold your feet up, get your eyes up...watching, tweaking, improving...ahhh!

I have coached for many years (17 oops, now 18 years). I sometimes forget that I love it when I'm in the thick of it, but stepping back ( or should I say rolling back) and watching my kids was/is glorious and although I was sitting in a chair, for that short part of the day, I didn't feel totally broken, totally helpless or totally useless.

On to the meet. County Championships. Oakland County Championships is the LARGEST middle school track meet in the NATION!!! You heard me! In the U.S.A! And my kids were there and my kids kicked BUTT!!! I should tell you that my kids are a part of an incredible track program that has a culture 13 years in the making all thanks to Coach Z. His drive and vision are the reasons I got to be a part of such an incredible season. He will hunt kids down in the hallways at school and tell them, not ask them, but tell them they should run track. He can be a goofball (remember the juggling and again the start of this blog), but he will also encourage and teach these young athletes and expect from them the things they don't realize they can do...run faster than they ever have before!

Geez, I keep getting all side tracked from telling you about one of the greatest competitions I have ever been a part of. Thursdays meet, was full of ups and downs, but mostly ups! My kids were individual and relay champions in several events. I watched one of my boys get his PR in the mile improving his PR by 30 SECONDS!!! And crushing the Oakland County record by 10 SECONDS!!! I can't YELL LOUD ENOUGH how AMAZING that is, but it is AMAZING!!!!

Over all Oakview had 6 individual and 2 Relay teams as Oakland County Champs!!! AMAAAAAAAAZZZZIIIIINGG!!!! The Boys team won as a team and so did the Girls. The girls posted points in 14 out of 16 events!!! UNBELIEVABLE!!! They set school records and County records and personal records and it was GOOOOOOOOOOD!

So maybe this seems a little off topic for a achilles blog, but remmeber, this is the road to recovery and this season is the reason I'm writing, but it's also a reason for me to keep getting up and getting going! These kids, MY TRACK KIDS, made one day on this road to recovery feel easy and FABULOUS!!!!!

In case I don't say it enough, thank you to all the people who have driven me to the store, the doctor's or to catch the bus for the County meet! I am so grateful to know all of these self sacrificing people! And thank you to my family who I threw under the bus in my last post, thank you for loving me when I'm cranky and PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE remember to change the toilet paper roll! :) Thank you to Charlie who drove me to practice and helped in the yard and to Jacob who mowed the lawn :)

AND WAY TO GO COACH Z AND OAKVIEW TRACK AND FIELD! THANKS FOR MAKING THIS JOURNEY HAPPEN ;) AND THANKS FOR MAKING THE JOURNEY FUN!!!

10 Days In or 10 Days Out?

2010-06-02T10:30:00.001-07:00

I was thinking (internally whining) again today about my ever rising level of frustration. And as I began to think of how I would appropriately vent without the possibility of my husband and children totally abandoning me due to my cranky and downright irritable demeanor, I started to think about how far into this delightful experience I am.

I am 10 days out from the surgery. 10 days away from the very beginning of this journey. I am 10 days better than the day I ripped a very crucial tendon. I am 10 days away from being cut open, pieced together and sewn back up. I am 10 days out.

I am also 10 days in. 10 days into the recovery process. 10 days in to wearing a boot. 10 days in to using crutches and wheelchairs. 10 days into being helpless/useless. 10 days in to relying on others to do what used to be the simplest tasks. I am just 10 days in to a ??-months long sentence. I am 10 days in.

I am lucky. I have been blessed with great friends and a great community. My family has been fed everyday for the past 10 days. It's as if my friends know that my family will starve to death if I do not feed them. I believe that my kids will learn a lot about food preparations this summer, but as for now they are well taken care of and I am MOST GRATEFUL!!!

I am frustrated. I love my children and my husband, but I feel let down by their version of care-giving. As the wife and mother of this brood, I will of course take the guilty blame for this problem. I have not expected enough of them to this point which is why many times when I ask for help or a favor I seem to get the eye roll and sigh. I have always been healthy and busy and able to take care of myself and the 4 other people who live in my house. This they have come to expect. I guess I thought that my example of care-giving would be enough to get reciprocated. I am 10 days into helplessness, but I am SEVENTEEN YEARS IN to doing for others. sacrificing. laundering. feeding. giving. doing. Don't get me wrong, I'm no saint. My house is not ever spotless, there are always weeds in the yard. But I don't think I roll my eyes and sigh every time I have cooked a dinner, gone to the emergency room, was asked at 10 o'clock at night to wash a uniform, went to a game, concert, recital, work party..... (sometimes I do, but mostly I don't).

So, throwing my kids and hubby under the bus isn't the nicest way to blog. They are good people, just not quite a mom/wife.

I am grateful. I am surrounded in my life by mothers and wives! The women in my life have sacrificed their time and given of their talents to make sure things are getting done. Not just the food, but taking me shopping for birthdays, taking me to the doctor, phone calls, visits, time, time, time and no eye rolls, no sighs :)

I am stopped at the corner of Grateful Blvd. and Resentment Ln. and the light is blinking red. I really need to just keep going down the good road, but I keep getting stuck at the light.
Am I expecting to much? Um NO!
Is my family as frustrated as I am? Probably.
Do I care? A little, but not really, it's their turn to step it up!
Should I change my expectations? No! But maybe my approach.
I am a go, go, go kinda girl and I just may want things done the way I want them done RIGHT NOW, SO DO IT!!! And with that I will put myself under the bus, but just a little ;) And try to improve my demeanor. I just hope they will try to improve theirs, because we are only 10 days in!

I had a doctors visit today and all went well. My friend Jill drew the short straw today and did the driving. It was a great day to chat and get caught up, until I left her in the waiting room with a VERY chatty lady...sorry :( The appointment went well and the steri-strips were removed to reveal.....THE STICTCHES!!!! I took a picture and will share that soon! There are new steri-strips over the incision now, but everything looked good. I go back in 3 weeks to begin the exciting process of dialing the boot!!! (I don't think it's gonna feel so hot :( But, it will get me that much closer to walking)!

Dreams, Dreams, Dreams and Songs that Motivate

2010-06-01T03:08:00.000-07:00

I'm not a big dreamer anymore. Not to sound defeated or anything, it just that when I was a kid I had very vivid dreams and lots of them. Nowadays, the nighttime stories just don't make it through to daytime awareness. Last night however, I had many dreams mostly of monotonous daily tasks like doing the laundry and cooking dinner, but in every one I was standing on my own two feet. I was aware of the standing, I was careful and cautious of my footfalls in my dreams, but I was doing it on my own nonetheless.

I am going to mark this down as positive visualization and ride this wave of hope since so much of my conscious thoughts lately have been geared toward the things I can't do and the long, long, long time frame of the recovery process. I'm glad that my subconscious is staying positive :)

Ed says, (that's the hubby) he's going to start pumping "Eye of the Tiger" through the house and change all of our ring tones to that. I'm not sure I'm quite ready for that. I mean I love Survivor (not the T.V. show, but the great 80's band) as much as the next guy, but that could be a bit much.

Ahhh, I'm a big talker, who am I kidding, it's already on my iPod, along with great motivational songs like, "So What Cha Want" by the Beastie Boys, "Push It" by Salt 'n Peppa, "St. Elmo's Fire (Man in Motion)" by John Parr, "Rock You Like a Hurricane" by the Scorpions, "Steady as She Goes" by the Raconteurs and "The Cup of Life," by Ricky Martin where he repeatedly asks, "DO YOU REALLY WANT IT?"

I do.

I really want to do my own laundry, vacuum my bedroom, get food out of the refrigerator without fear of dropping something or falling on my face. I really want to do a round off, back handspring, back tuck again.

I really want it.

It also makes me wonder what songs carry you through?

Follow my blog and fill me in :) Thanks!

Shopping Excursion - Adventures in a Wheelchair

2010-05-29T05:22:00.000-07:00

This week was incredibly busy. First, as you know, it started with a severe achilles rupture, which led to surgery, followed by my birthday and an important track meet. Soon to follow were the preparations for my son and husband's birthdays which were yesterday and will be tomorrow respectively. In order to get it all done I had to rely on a friend to cart my rear-end to various stores while trying to make decisions while balancing on crutches and fighting discomfort and fatigue. I'm sure I was pure joy :)

We made a quick stop to the open air mall, guess what? No easily accessible wheelchairs! It's fine though, I have handicapped parking now! The first couple of stores were fine we got some good deals and checked of items from the wish lists. The next stop was a department store and I was excited because they usually have accommodations in the form of wheelchairs or electric carts...here's another guess what??? After navigating to the service desk it was discovered that THE wheelchair was broken...ugh, the pain medicine was wearing off, I was breaking out into sweats and I HAD TO GET THE SHOPPING DONE!!!

For the record I have borrowed a wheelchair from our community, but I was afraid I would not be able to get a certain birthday gift into the vehicle if I brought my own wheelchair.

I was most certainly frustrated and discouraged. Although we got some good things accomplished, my limitations are INFURIATING me! Vicky, who affectionately referred to me as Miss Daisy for the last few days, was a true friend and trooper. She expeditiously returned me home where I could prop the leg and rest the arms and slow down. She also offered to do it again the next day!!!

Friday's shopping was a dream compared to Thursday! I purposely plotted out adventures based on wheelchairs and in-store motorized vehicles!!! :) I was far more delightful.

Target was just plain fun! I must admit I get a lot of stares in my little motor cart. I also need some driving lessons! These babies are tricky and they do not move very fast! First, you need to be seated in order for them to move. Well, due to my diminutive stature I tend to scoot forward to the edge of the seat so I can firmly plant my one good leg on the floor board. Wouldn't you know, the cart will stop when one does not have their rear-end firmly planted in the seat!!! Next, I feel the need to shout to the world that the store may have these fabulous rides for those of us experiencing ambulatory technical difficulties, but the folks who plan out the floor display fail to take into consideration a certain turn radius ESPECIALLY when one is carrying one's crutches in the basket looking like a modern day special (oh so special) jouster!

This would be a good time to tell you that Vicky and I were quite entertained by our navigational predicament.

On to Kohl's! Kohl's by the way does not have the motor scooter, but does offer the wheelchair. You might think we would be able to get around corners a with more ease in this smaller, less cumbersome vehicle...BUT NOPE!!! The Men's Department at Kohl's is hideous!!! I mean HIDEOUS!!! It would be difficult getting through there as a normal sized person. I never notice before, because I am not a normal sized person,I am a mini little lady with the stealth and agility of a ninja...well I did have agility...stop laughing at a girl in a BOOT!!!

Vicky eventually had to take over completely. I had to keep my hands inside the vehicle at all times or I surely would have lost a finger or two. There were a lot of things falling as we ever-so-carefully rammed into display. There was the moving of displays, because most are on wheels, so that's good. There was the, "Oh $!@#, how do we get out of this one. And of course the "OUCH, that was my leg." Regardless of the "Ouch," it was very comical and if you ever get the chance to be wheelchair bound, make sure you go to Kohl's with a friend!!!

Dinner and Therapy with the Bailey Family

2010-05-28T17:46:00.000-07:00

Last night we were visited by Kathy, Kevin and Jamie Bailey. Not only did they bring dinner, but Kevin brought his cast and we were able to have a little therapy session right there over the Jet's Pizza :)

Kevin has a similar injury to mine except instead of an Achilles rupture he tore his bicep off! He is casted all the way from fingers to armpit and strangely enough we had a lot in common. We both have issues getting our shoes on. He cannot tie, I cannot stand and slip shoes on. Showering is a challenge for both parties. I am afraid of jarring the joint, Kevin cannot wash the right upper portion of his body. Also he is still in a cast and must use the garbage bag method of coverage. Kathy did point out that He is wearing hats more frequently due to the difficulty of gel application and one handed hair drying...I think there is an infomercial product out there for that precise predicament! ;)

Kevin described the sound at the moment of the injury so perfectly. He said it sounded like pulling a large weed out of the ground. He could hear the ripping as the tendon pulled from the muscle like the roots pull away from the ground. Mine sounded the same.

Unlike Kevin I was pushy and demanding in the ER. I knew I wanted the surgery and I wanted it NOW!!! Kevin was patient and went home and was moving his arm around. He said his didn't hurt as much as it just wouldn't react in certain positions...you know, all the positions you use your biceps for??? (Just about everything)! It was very interesting!

I kept up with my pain meds very consistently until yesterday when I woke up with little hive-like bumps. I think it was due to heat and sun exposure mixed with the medication. When I talked to Kevin he was big britches and said he only took Tylenol like the first day or something...whatever. Anyway, that made me want to be tough too and not go back to my meds EVER...I cheated and took 3 ibuprofen last night! I'm not as tough as Kevin :(

All in all I really enjoyed my night with the Baileys and I am glad I got to talk to a friend and fellow gimpy! I'm not happy that Kevin has to be hurting, but I am happy to have a friend who will be traveling down a similar recovery road in a similar time frame. Hopefully we can keep tabs on each other and work towards the common goal of being normal again...I know normal, that's funny :P

Worries, Doubts and Showers

2010-05-27T03:23:00.001-07:00

The little worries are beginning to sneak into my head.
Worries like,
What am I going to do for a job this summer?
How will this impact our family camping trip? Can we still go?
How depressed will I get?
Will I be able to run again?
Will I ever be able to do arials and back handsprings again?
How will this effect my kids?

Blah, blah, blah

Lucky for me I am easily distracted by Facebook and phone calls and all is well for a few hours.

The order of events for today included a phone call from Vicky, being picked up by Suzy for a lovely lunch and lounge by the lake, pain medicine and nap, track practice, a fabulous dinner compliments of Jeri, more meds and night night time.

As often as I wonder about the worries I do reflect on the blessings. What if I didn't have all these great friends, what if I was the sole breadwinner, what if I didn't have three great kids who will get me water and drive me around? I know they come in the form of "what-if's" but it really makes me grateful and hopeful for a full and positive recovery.

OHHHHH, the new shower set up. Well, let me tell you!!! Thanks to Angela Weaver I have a fancy chair (btw, she broke her leg a year and a half ago and had to get pins put in and get the pins out and this and that and it was a mess, she's good now, but just starting to run again - healing is a looooong process). Well, um, I was somewhat frustrated, incredibly nervous and completely vulnerable. It was the first time I had taken the boot off all by myself. Take that into consideration, add water and soap and perhaps you can feel my anxiety. I was so afraid of a slip and rip, I felt nauseous. On the one hand I was so excited to get the magic marker that said "CUT HERE" off, plus the yellow betadine (sp)that resembled wild animal urine on my leg, as well as the cotton under wrap that was applied with a spray adhesive and used right after surgery for the cast (that was removed Monday). The removal of gunk and cleansing of crust trumped the anxiety, but the awkwardness of sitting in a not-to-big stand up shower while maneuvering the fragile foot and the water ... an awkward sight indeed. There was the lean and twist maneuver for hair washing, the one foot scoot while holding on to the seat handles to get a better water angle. There was some (a lot of) cussing as I seemed to drop everything I tried to pick up, which slipped and ricocheted to the inevitable under-the-seat location. There was the shaving of the gimpy leg, no major trauma here just no comfortable way around it. The good news is - I SURVIVED!!! And there was no falling or ripping of body parts. I do expect to improve on this technique!

Tuesday's Adventures

2010-05-26T17:47:00.000-07:00

Yesterday was a good day. I was looking forward to friends visiting, I anticipated their arrival all morning! I found myself pacing and watching the clock out of pure stir-craziness...It was just like Dr. Seuss's waiting game in the book "Oh, The Places You Will Go." Only instead of everyone waiting, it was just me...just waiting.

Waiting for a train to go
or a bus to come, or a plane to go
or the mail to come, or the rain to go
or the phone to ring, or the snow to snow
or waiting around for a Yes or No
or waiting for their hair to grow. (Seuss)
JULIE is just waiting.

It's not that they were late, I was just so excited and so trapped that I could not talk myself out of this waiting place.

Then,(dramatic pause) Vicky and Heather appeared, like angels (twinkling music)with a Jimmy Johns Un-wich (have you had one of these? They are very tasty and a lot less bad for you. It is any one of their sandwiches only instead of their tasty-white-no-nutrition-what-so-ever-french-bread, they make it as a giant lettuce wrap! I honestly do not get where they find this gargantuan lettuce, but it makes me feel better about my food choices). The girls also brought me over a very thoughtful and funny birthday present.
AND THEN, do you know what? I was pooped out!!! I was useless!!! I felt like such a DOPE!!! Here, they were working all morning and then they came to rescue me from myself and my loneliness and hunger AND I NEEDED A NAP!!! What the??? I do not understand myself right now. One minute I feel fine the next minute I am falling over with exhaustion, only I haven't done anything exhausting! I ate and accepted gifts, two things I am very good at and thought I had all the stamina in the world for!!!
So, I took some medicine and I took a nap and when I awoke another angel was at my door with pulled pork and cole slaw and watermelon and potato chips...A vision I tell you! It was Jeri and even though her daughter was on her way to the league meet to run an AMAZING mile in 5:39 she made time for my family! I am humbled and grateful and just plain full :) Thank you friends.
So after a quick scarfing, Charlie the chauffeur hauled me off to the league meet so I could witness the AMAZING MILE as well as many other AMAZING events.

*I would like to take this opportunity to report that the Oakview Girls are
the League Champions and the Oakview Boys are the Runners-Up (did I
pluralize that correctly)? ANYWAY, I am a very proud assistant coach :)

*It should also be noted that for the most part I stayed in my wheelchair
and in the shade and I almost made it to the end of the meet...

Yesterday was a good day. I continued to learn about myself and what may happen during my recovery process. My runners ran like the wind and impressed me to pieces (literally my left muscle/tendon connection was blown to bits). I was reminded what beautiful friends I have and what a caring community I live in. Tomorrow I will learn how to take it to the shower...all by myself. Let life's challenges keep coming! They might knock you down, but half the fun is the bragging rights you get when you get back up :) (that was not eloquent at all, but those are tonight's words of wisdom :)

The Boot

2010-05-26T06:08:00.000-07:00

I"M IN A BOOT...A $#@! $#@!ING BOOT!
That's right,Monday at noon I went to see Dr. Fugle and his guys and gals and they put me in a boot. I feel a little bit like the Terminator or the Bionic Woman except with no super strength. I feel like when I look down at my legs I can already see the atrophy of all of my muscles... I can actually see myself turning to mush...I am exaggerating and being purely ridiculous, but with time on my hands my imagination really runs wild!
I have been given permission to shower...that is very exciting and also a little scary! For the record, I have been cleaning myself in a very elaborate bath set up with step stools and towels and cushions, a set of p-bars, bungee cords, twisting belt with ball bearings, a disco ball and a dismount mat ;) well kinda. Next up, the shower chair...I need to mentally prepare for that.
Soooo, many peeps have been reminding me to take it easy and I swear I kind of am...Last night I went to track practice...OH LISTEN TO THIS (side note) My son Charlie is 15 and he has his permit and he is now my official chauffeur. Mostly he's happy to drive, but I can see he may be getting a little frustrated at having to go to all the places mom has to go to ;P It's O.K. right? O.K back to track practice, I may have over done it on this day (Monday), but I was feeling so good!!! However, it's possible with the pain meds, the sun and the being up my crutches instead of in the chair it was too much. After practice I felt very sick to my stomach and was having a considerable amount of pain in my leg, I had Charlie drive home where I promptly laid down on the couch and passed out!
I think I learned my lesson...we shall see :) By the way dinner was a fabulous chili provided by the Boker Family...yummm.
I am almost up-to-date with these blog posts. I still have to report on yesterdays adventures at the track meet and then we (I) will be in real time!!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY

2010-05-25T18:32:00.000-07:00

That's right Sunday May 23 was my 36th birthday! It's a good thing I tore my achilles when I was a young and bouncy 35-year-old so I can't get any of those "aren't you a little old to be doing back flips jokes."
My Birthday went pretty well. My nine-year-old daughter had a piano recital, which I tolerated with much medication. She did great, it was the other 30 kids I had a hard time being positive for. I was able to find a pew and keep my foot up, but the pain was still pretty steep and being cheery was a challenge.
After the the recital I was graciously allowed to rest and recuperate in the hammock out in the backyard. It was fantastic and peaceful and mostly pain free :) For dinner the Bussell family made us a fabulous lasagna and the Moore family brought over an ice cream cake....mmmmmmm everything was so appreciated!!! (In case I forgot to mention it, Coach Z delivered our first meal on Saturday night, it was a wonderful homemade pasta dish and everyone LOVED it- and it's hard to please everyone at our house).
Sleep this evening would be mildly uncomfortable but I kept my eye on the clock and re-medicated as soon as "legally" possible. I think I have found a system for the medicine now and hopefully will keep a handle on my comfort!
Here's the next challenge, I have canceled (well, Joyce has canceled)all of my substitute jobs for the next few days. The Dr. says it would be reasonable to take the rest of the school year off. I have a job on Friday that I am considering following through on...I just wonder if I can truly make it through a full day without the option of a "timeout." I'm going to give it one more day before I decide!

Day two the process continues

2010-05-25T11:33:00.000-07:00

So, bright and early Saturday morning Ed shuffled me in to the POH emergency room, just because that is considered the main entrance on a Saturday morning for a scheduled surgery... Dr. Fugle agreed the night before (while we were still at Crittenton to fix me up the very next day - he had an 8 am at POH or a 1pm at Crittenton - the sooner the better I say)!!!
WHAT A GREAT GROUP OF PEEPS!!!! I don't remember everyone's names, but they were genuine, considerate, informative, comforting and they even laughed at my jokes and considering the pain and the meds, I'm not sure the jokes were even funny! The Surgery was just shy of an hour and a half and I believe Ed was told they had to do a little extra pulling/stretching because my gastrocnemius was rolled up my leg like an old roller shade, not to mention there was quite a bit of fraying...kind of a mess!
When I woke my my wonderful nurse was also my wonderful neighbor Lucy and she took extra special care of me and made sure I had everything I needed :) If you're going to rip apart your achilles, I hope you have as much good luck as I did with doctors, nurses, and all of the other little "angles" along the way.
I was home in time for lunch although I don't remember much of anything so if there is anything to report on this day we will have to turn all questions to my hubby and my children!
I know I missed my sweet friend LaTonia's baby shower and I also know my other sweet friends had my back and even stopped in to visit me after the party. Plus, Auntie Leigh put the kids on immediate and rigorous laundry duty, it was so beautiful :)

Recap Friday May 21

2010-05-25T02:35:00.000-07:00

I just want to stretch!!! You know the kind of morning stretch that goes all the way to your toes?!? I can with my right, but the left side is still fighting some pretty intense pain.
On Friday around 3:30 in the afternoon I was at track practice. Our kids had just won the Lake Orion Tri-Meet the day before and we were gearing up for a medium-ly challenging practice before the weekend and the Monday's League Meet. After a nice chat in the gym about League expectations and a lovely and normal warm up and stretch, I felt a prideful challenge when Mr. Z, the head coach, began to juggle. So, to try to best Coach Z, I did an ariel (no handed cartwheel) and that was great. And It was time to stop messing around and get the kids back on track (no pun intended, but it does work nicely here). OH BUT NOOOOO, who is in the mood to work on a sunny Friday afternoon, the day after a win, the day before the weekend...not my kids... not yet! "C'mon Coach Maurer, do a back flip." For the record, I said, "no" at first and "let's get to work!" But the egging on was persistent and I do enjoy my moments in the spotlight and not to mention Coach Z was also in on the encouraging...So I did what every self respecting almost 36 year-old, mother of three, middle school track coach would do... I did a round off back handspring back tuck! Only, for the first time in my many years of performing this very basic tumbling pass, I heard and felt a tear - rrrrriiiiiiiiiipppppp - between the back handspring and the back tuck and right then and there I knew exactly what had happened.
I was calm and I knew what was going on and Coach Z was focused and efficient and the kids seemed to be frozen in space. For me the pain grew in intensity very quickly. I started to sweat and the colors that I saw were getting pale and washed out. The sounds were echo-ey and tin-ey. And as strange luck would have it the team pictures were being delivered that day and Dear Denise Meadows said, "Is there anything I can do?" and she was immediately nominated driver. Although she had her own deliveries to make and work to accomplish she kindly drove me all the way to Rochester to the Crittenton Emergency Room per my request to go to a hospital and not just urgent care. She was most careful to hit as few bumps as possible and even shared with me a story of her own about she and her husband bouncing back from and deer/motorcycle accident!
The emergency room was uneventful, I mean REALLY uneventful in that there was no one available to do the surgery that evening. We did find someone who was willing to fix it in the morning so home we went with a half cast and a bottle of pain medicine.